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  • Writer's pictureDaniel Jepsen

Top Ten Signs You're Attending a Bad Church

You know, there are a LOT of churches out there these days. Now, this may shock you, but some of them are . . . sub-optimal.

Of course, no church is perfect. If it was, you couldn't attend, right?

But some churches really abuse their right to be not-perfect. So I am spending part of my precious day off to help you, gentle reader, discern the red flags.

You're welcome, and here we go:

  1. The church bus has a gun rack. Or two.

  2. The pastor is married to the Ladies Trio.

  3. The only song the church organist knows is the theme to Gilligan's Island.

  4. The baptistry doubles as a hot tub.

  5. The pastor still thinks his references to 90's sitcoms are "culturally relevant".

  6. The visitor card asks not only for your contact info and also your salary and a list of your worst sins.

  7. Ushers ask you, "snakes or non-snakes section?"

  8. Youth group defends spray-painting bible verses around town as "evandalism".

  9. Easter service replaced by a Trump rally.

  10. The pastor spends his day off writing silly top-ten lists.

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