Top Ten Signs You're Attending a Bad Church
You know, there are a LOT of churches out there these days. Now, this may shock you, but some of them are . . . sub-optimal.
Of course, no church is perfect. If it was, you couldn't attend, right?
But some churches really abuse their right to be not-perfect. So I am spending part of my precious day off to help you, gentle reader, discern the red flags.
You're welcome, and here we go:
The church bus has a gun rack. Or two.
The pastor is married to the Ladies Trio.
The only song the church organist knows is the theme to Gilligan's Island.
The baptistry doubles as a hot tub.
The pastor still thinks his references to 90's sitcoms are "culturally relevant".
The visitor card asks not only for your contact info and also your salary and a list of your worst sins.
Ushers ask you, "snakes or non-snakes section?"
Youth group defends spray-painting bible verses around town as "evandalism".
Easter service replaced by a Trump rally.
The pastor spends his day off writing silly top-ten lists.